Brother Jed visits Stanford
Brother Jed and Sister Pat talked in our White Plaza from about 12:30 to about
4:30, and then he started calling some other witnesses in.
Sister Cindy wasn't there--she was at home, barefoot and pregnant (his words).
For those of you who have never been fortunate enough to hear them, I saved
a few of his best quotes:
"My wife works hard, I'll have you know."
"I've got my wife making babies."
"We will have been married six years this summer and she hasn't disobeyed
"Well obviously Cain married one of his sisters."
"I know what a temptation I must be to you." (Yes, he meant a sexual
temptation. One of the women there started shouting, "Keep it on!")
"Just because you love someone is no reason to necessarily marry them."
"The ring I gave her symbolizes that she is my servant."
"Women are the weaker vessel and God expects less out of them."
(In response to a question that if AIDS was God's punishment, why were
lesbians the lowest risk group?)
In response to a question about hemophiliacs getting AIDS: "God hates sin
so much innocent people suffer the consequences. Blame the homos."
The question: Would you have married Cindy if she was black?
"Of course not!" (He went on to explain that this would not be honoring
"I warn you girls, don't marry most of these boys, cause they are masturbators
and they will have premature ejaculation and you will be sexually
In response to: What's a just war? "Liberating Cuba, liberating Nicaragua,
we should invade Mexico because they're not paying their debt."
In response to: Are you without sin, making all these judgments? "Yes!"
Signs of being a "homo" are: fornication, wickedness, deceit, and being
disobedient to parents.
He said that he would want a child like Duffy Strode.
Then, of course, there's Sister Pat:
"You're worshipping condoms."
"Most of you are illiterate."
"The American Indians need to get a job."
About South Africa: "For Africa, it's the most perfect nation in there."
"I love you miserable wretches." (Repeated many times.)
About oral sex: "You don't want to go out with a man who would defile your
Then, of course, the audience:
Pat: "I call you boys because you won't be men until you know Jesus.
"I call you girls because you won't be women until you know..."
Audience member: "A man!"
All in all, a fun time was had. One person who was there is going to invite
Brother Jed to his dorm.
Disclaimer: I wrote these down at the time they were said. I have tried
to be accurate, but I take no responsibility for any errors.