This file collects the best stories about Brother Jed, Sister Cindy, Max Lynch, Jim Gilles

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This file collects the best stories about Brother Jed, Sister Cindy, Max Lynch, Jim Gilles, Holy Hubert and Brother Rick. For those not familiar with the aforementioned individuals, these people are travelling preachers who spread the gospel of peace and tolerance to dozens of college campuses every year. So popular has Brother Jed Smock proven to be that he was honored with his own newsgroup last year, joining Dave Berry, the Diceman, and Ensign Wesley as one of the select few with an alt group dedicated to his career. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- >From: (Carl Turner) Date: 15 Dec 90 00:45:55 GMT Organization: University of Florida Psychology Department Brother Jed and Sister Cindy are on the campus of the U. of Florida this week, on the southern leg of their "1990-1991 Peace, Love and Tolerance Tour." Round about this time every year, coincident with the change of seasons, they head south for some good-old-time fire-and-brimstone preaching and praying. If you have ever seen this pair at your campus or church then you know who I'm talking about. If you don't, well....perhaps the best way to explain Jed and Cindy are through stories, eye-witness testimony, true-to-life details of their efforts to drag college students into the welcoming arms of Jesus. Might as well start things myself: Cindy was a University of Florida student back in the 1970's, a self-proclaimed "disco queen" who was "saved" in the parking lot of the Krystal restaurant across the street from the campus. Her style is somewhat confrontational. Not content to stand on benches and shout at the "whores" and "sluts" as they walk past her, she's been known in the past to grab female students who are dressed immodestly and demand that they go home and put some clothes on (after a talking-to by the campus police about assault she has dropped this from her repertoire). Question-and-answer is where Jed really shines as an entertainer. A sampling: Q. "Is it wrong for a man to rape his wife?" A. "How is it possible for a man to rape his own property?" Jed: "Say, where's that girl who said she was a lesbian?" (A woman in the crowd raises her hand). "Tell me, sister, when did you start licking other women out?" Jed visited South Africa on a "fact-finding mission" several years ago, and wrote a book about his experiences. Q. "From what you've said about South Africa, it sounds like you approve of slavery!" A. "What's wrong with slavery? The Bible condones slavery." ----- >From: (Odin) Date: 15 Dec 90 01:30:45 GMT Sender: (News) Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana I refer you to alt.folklore.urban, where this discussion has been going on for quite some time. Very amusing... Also, look for the coming of , or some similar group. This will be dedicated to tracking and sharing stories about the infamous Brother Jed. Also, when you see this man I encourage you to say but one sentence to him: "Brother Jed, The Computer is watching you." Suffice it to say that when this is repeated all across the nation, his response will be nothing less than hilarious... ----- >From: (David Hills Weinstein) Date: 6 Dec 90 19:07:40 GMT Organization: Chaos under Glass This past Spring, the University of Texas at Austin was treated to more than a week of tirades from the ever popular Brother Rick. In addition to the usual tirades against the sins of the day (i.e "And feminists, most of whom are lessssssbbbbians..." and suchlike), the heckling did become quite interesting. "Hey, Brother Rick. Tell us what *really* happenned to Elvis?" --Anonymous "Brother Rick, some of us were wondering, do you wear boxers, briefs, or nothing at all?" --UT Student President Eventually, the Royal Order of Pythons (an organization which has among other things held fishing expeditions in the West Mall fountain, gathered concrete blocks to sell as souvenir blocks of the Berlin Wall, and run candidates for Student President with such auspicious platforms as bringing the Pro-Bowler's tour to the Uniion and putting a revolving glass restaurant atop the UT Tower) sponsored Brother Rick so he could speak on campus rather than ranting from the passing sidewalk. Perhaps we could keep a "realtime" thread on current locations of Brother Jed and his merry men (if they aren't that far a drive away, a visit is always a pleasant way to spend an afternoon). anyone? Dave Weinstein Internet: ----- >From: (Killer T Cells) Date: 6 Dec 90 15:19:51 GMT Organization: The Victorian Orgasm I remember Cindy preaching on her own at U. of Arkansas at Fayetteville -- what a screamer! Someone give her a keyboard, please, and ability to post on alt.flame about the EVILs of being a DISCO QUEEN! (She should know, having been one.) One thing she told the crowd (which interested everyone very much, you may be sure) is that, presumably through the power of god, you can *regain your virginity*. (I went to look for mine where I lost it, but it never turned up. What a relief.) I've seen her with Jed, too. IMHO, she's actually a better show on her own. ----- >From: (Dean Johnson) Date: 13 Dec 90 00:15:39 GMT Organization: Cray Research, Inc. It was a few years back, but I think Brother Jed appeared at St. Cloud State University in St. Cloud, MN. He just sorta started preaching and in the process, alienating everybody. He just about got the shit kicked out of him a couple of times when he said something to the effect of "Moslems are going to hell without seeing God...". If people are truly interested, I can go and find the article from the campus paper about him. He was going by the name Jed Smock, at that time. He was a real bozo, but a good entertainer. ----- >From: (Wes Morgan) Date: 13 Dec 90 15:20:11 GMT Organization: The Puzzle Palace, UKentucky Sad to say, his headquarters is right here in Lexington, so we get to hear him at least once or twice a semester. He was just ranting at our Free Speech Area about a month or so ago. I'm a long-time Jed-veteran; I first laughed at him in 1981. His style runs some- thing like this: "And the evils of for-ni-CA-tion strike all of you! ALL of you are sinners! You, there in the pink sweater! You are an agent of Satan, wearing those tight clothes to tempt men to many men have you slept with?!" The word "fornication" is almost always accompanied by this weird hand gesture that none of us could ever figure out. You know how Queen Elizabeth waves, with only her wrist moving? Well, hold your hand as if you were holding a baseball, point it at the ground, and rotate your wrist; that's the Brother Jed Fornication Gesture (tm). Several folks attempt to debate him; he always responds with some- thing along the lines of "You're a sinner; you should be listening instead of trying to argue for Satan". Brother Jed tells us that his salvation came at a Van Halen concert. When he saw David Lee Roth with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a joint, he saw a blinding light; to him, the rest is history. None of us had the heart to tell him about flash pots........ By the way, ask him about his days as a brother of Delta Upsilon fraternity at, I think, Indiana University. Boy, that place was a hotbed of forniCAtion ........ ----- >From: whelan@huey.wslab.Hawaii.Edu (The Obscure Guru) Date: 14 Dec 90 09:56:08 GMT Organization: Dot in the Deep Blue Sea I think that a statement (rather than a question that he could start raving in response to) along the lines of, "The Computer is watching you," would be hilarious. After getting 10 or 20 such messages we could become a bit of urban folklore that he believes in... ----- >From: (Dave Wilson) Date: 14 Dec 90 16:31:20 GMT Organization: UF CIS Dept. Well, I don't know who he is, other than Brother Jed Smock, but he's appearing here live, one week only, at the University of Florida, on his 1990 world tour. He doesn't have the opening act he had last year, a sort Jed jr., with a weak chin, and none of the righteous fervor that Jed has. Neither does he have Sister Cindy [begin folklore] who was a reporter sent by the evil student newspaper the Alligator to do a story on him. Instead, Jed introduced her to Jesus at the Crystal, and Cindy was converted on her knees in the parking lot. [end folklore]. Jed and Cindy were married, and now she has a child, and wears clothing that covers her entire body. Actually, I'm not sure this qualifies as folklore, as Brother Jed attests that it is true. Then again, he also says that sororities are operated as whorehouses by fraternities. I used to think Jed was just a local loonie, but two or three years ago Rolling Stone did a big article on him. Apparently he has a regular tour he follows each year, hitting all the hotbeds of fornication and sin (college campuses). Oh, oh, oh, I almost forgot. [Not folklore] The past few years I have seen the University of Florida Lesbian and Gay Society (UFLAGS) have their group picture taken with Jed, who feels compelled to tell them they are all going to burn in hell. They form up around him, and have the picture taken, with much jesting at Jed's expense. He takes it with surprisingly good grace. ----- >From: (Dave Wilson) Date: 14 Dec 90 22:00:14 GMT Organization: UF CIS Dept. Okay, it's started. As I rode my bike past Brother Jed on the way back from lunch I shouted "The computer is watching you". He just looked at me funny. Little does he know... ----- >From: (Carl Turner) Date: 15 Dec 90 00:45:55 GMT Organization: University of Florida Psychology Department In regards to his diatribes about "foooooornicators......." One popular sports cheer in these parts is "It's great to be a FLORIDA GATOR!" Frequently, when Jed gets going about fornicators the crowd spontaneously breaks into the cheer "It's great to be a FORN-I-CATOR...It's great to be..." etc. etc. As the crowds sometimes reach into 3 digits, this is probably a little unnerving to people in the (nearby) library. Brother Jim Gilles was a Jed-understudy for a while. He's out there on his own now. Jim was going on for a while about "evil, AIDS-infected queers" when this exchange took place: Q. "Jim, just face it: you're HOMOPHOBIC!" A. "Brother Jim is NOT afraid of queers! Queers are afraid of Brother Jim!" Q. "That's cause you're so hung!" Then, after the laughter had died down: Q. "Why do you think he wears those big red suspenders?" Max Lynch story: Max is really happy to tell people how he received the word of God. Seems he was fired from his job. He went home, picked up the Bible, and lay on the couch for days reading it. Occassionally his wife would wander in and ask him when he thought he might get up and out and find another job, as the family was out of money. Finally Max lept from the couch and cracked his wife on the side of the head with the word of God; he knocked her cold (Max demonstrates this with great enthusiasm). Then, like a prizefighter celebrating over the body of a fallen victim, shouted "WOMAN! I HAVE a job! I'm going to preach the WORD OF GOD!" And that's what he's done ever since. Max also insists that he wife doesn't question his authority anymore. ----- >From: (Danny Iacovou) Date: 19 Dec 90 14:34:37 GMT Organization: University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, CSci dept. Max is sometimes the most colorfull of the group. It always cracks me up the way he (and the audiance) tells on how his wife would nag him: Max (with the aid the audiance): "Get a joooooooooooooob Max!" Max : "You know what I did next? IIIIIIIIIIII let her hav'it (smacks his own hand for effect)" ----- >From: (Richard Carter) Date: 17 Dec 90 16:06:25 GMT Sender: How about the Burma shave approach? At one campus, a couple of people hand him a card with a single word printed on it. At the next campus, he gets the next word, etc. Ideally, we should get more and more people to hand him cards as time passes (only one word per campus, though.) Any ideas on the perfect sentance to give him? A meaner idea (which I don't really feel guilty about after hearing his views on women, rape, and slavery) is to have someone strike up a conversation with him after claiming to be a demon named Gnirut inhabiting the body of a college student who engaged in too much fooo-rnication. At each successive campus a new person could claim to be the demon and pick up the conversation exactly where the last one left off. We could probably really convince him he had a direct line to the devil. Perhaps the devil is having second thoughts about his line of work, and wants Brother Jed to act as an intermediary while he negotiates a settlement with God that will make him an angel again? ( Would God go for this deal if the devil offered a 10% cut of all souls collected? 25% ? How about 50%, and thats my final offer? Ok, all of them except the fooo-rnicators? ) :-) ----- >From: tneff@bfmny0.BFM.COM (Tom Neff) Date: 18 Dec 90 08:31:45 GMT Reply-To: tneff@bfmny0.BFM.COM (Tom Neff) -------------------------- | PLEASE DON'T GET MAD | -------------------------- -------------------------- | AT THOSE SOULS YOU SAVED | -------------------------- -------------------------- | BUT THEY FILLED YOUR VAN | -------------------------- -------------------------- | WITH BURMA SHAVE | -------------------------- ----- From Mon Dec 17 17:37:31 1990 id AA17657; Mon, 17 Dec 90 17:37:29 -0500 Date: Mon, 17 Dec 90 16:37:26 -0600 From: Gerry Neal (U. of Illinois) Well, favorite Jed and Cindy story. Once when he was at the U of I, and was preaching against the HO-MO-SEX-U-AL-SSSS, one of 'em grabbed him from behind and tried to dry-hump him. Jed lost it, and chased him across the quad. Throwing coins at cindy was always considered the thing to do. ----- >From: (Douglas W. Jones) Date: 18 Dec 90 19:43:06 GMT Sender: As a Jed Smock watcher from way back, the formation of this newsgroup brings warmth to my soul. I first met Jed in the mid 1970's at the U. of Illinois, and it was heartwarming to discover that my move to Iowa hadn't cut me off from that fine personage. Since joining the faculty at Iowa, I've only called the police a few times when Jed or his minions got too loud outside my office window. I like the proposed plan of action for haunting Brother Jed and company, but I have a plan of my own that I'd like to put into practice someday. I want to find a team of people with voice training comparable to Brother Jed and company to stand near him and read "The Hunting of the Snark", an epic poem by the Reverend Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, better known as Lewis Carroll. I think that Jed and Co would enjoy this poem because it makes about as much sense as the theology they espouse. ----- >From: (Jym Dyer) Date: 18 Dec 90 17:56:05 GMT Organization: Berserkeley ___ __ Michelle Shocked has a song called "The Campus Crusade," about _ Brother Jed and Sister Cindy. I heard it on a radio broadcast from the Berklee Performance Center, on WBCN, Boston, March 17th, 1989. Unfortunately, my tape chopped off the beginning of the song. (If anyone has a good copy, please contact me.) ___ __ Sister Cindy says (in the song) "Ah was a hower among hower- _ mungers." Brother Jed puts down some paper cups and steps on them, saying, "These are the Arab states when Jesus comes back." He gives an extra twist of the heel for the cup that represents Palestine. ----- >From: (Ronald G Lovejoy) Date: 18 Dec 90 20:50:18 GMT Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology I was visiting the University of Michigan back in 1987 when I first encountered Brother Jed. He was with this **really** old blind guy with liver spots all over his face and they were both preaching in the diag. The old guy, Brother Hubert, had a radio program in the Detriot area for quite some time (I think hes dead now) and he invited Brother Jed up to Michigan to preach to the Godless heathen pagans at UM. They set up camp on the north side of the diag and began preaching. The one thing I was impressed with was that Brother Hubert had been able to memorize almost all of the New Testament before he went blind; he was good. Anyway, Brother Jed came up first and started putting down the Catholic Church and the Pope, saying that everyone involved with it is going STRAIGHT TO HELL, that 80% of the Catholic priests are gay and like little boys, and that the Pope is the Antichrist. It gets better. They were able to attract a huge crowd of students, who were there mostly for the entertainment. Brother Jed noticed that a lot of the women there were wearing shorts and skimpy tops (It was very hot that day), and started in on them, calling them whores and sluts for dressing that way and leading young men into lives of sin. Many of them objected strongly to that accusation, after which Brother Hubert started quoting scriptures on the evils of Jezebel and Delilah. Later on, while telling us about the evils of following religions other than his own, he reserved special bile for Eastern religions. An Indian woman stood up and called called him intolerant and, I think, racist. Jed asked her what religion she was. "Hindu", she replied. "You worship COWS!" Jed screamed back. ----- >From: (George Georgiou) Date: 20 Dec 90 00:56:50 GMT Organization: Computer Science Dept., Tulane Univ., New Orleans, LA At LSU few years back he said something like: --"Anal sex is like putting gas for the car through the exhaust pipe." ----- >From: (Duane P Mantick) Date: 20 Dec 90 17:34:56 GMT Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network One rather hot day, I think my freshman year (fall 76), he was busily flaming people who were communist/pagan/drunken/drug-abusing/socialist/ humanist/catholic/atheist/masturbating/gay/lesbian/fornicators (does that about cover it?), a rather leggy and attractive looking young lady wearing some VERY short, tight, shorts and not much of a top came sauntering past. She was really diverting the attention of the male Jed-bashers away from him, let me tell you. Jed ran over to her, grabbed her by the arm and started yelling at her about how obscenely she was dressed, etc., and that she was obviously a slutty, fornicating whore. (Mmmmm, my type of girl.....) The girl would have none of that and just started wailing on him, physically mind you, smacking him really hard about the head and neck. The crowd applauded, and nobody lifted a hand to help poor Jed. She finally backed off him and walked away leving Jed in a pile, reduced to mere self-defense by raising his arms in front of his face to deflect the attack. A rather ruffled, bruised and bloodied Jed LEFT. I don't know who she was; I never saw her again. Some people suggested that she had been paid to do this by some of the more serious avowed Jed-haters and that she was a plant who had a black belt in karate or was talented in some other form of martial arts. As for Max Lynch, he told the story here at Purdue that he was a Math Prof. at Indiana State University (Terre Haute) and was fired for preaching in the classroom. Someone previously gave the bottom line of his "Max, Get a Job!" story, about his wife yelling at him because they had no bucks. If you ever see Max, get him to tell you this one - it is possibly one of his most entertaining. ----- >From: (Phillip Calvin) Date: 20 Dec 90 03:12:56 GMT Organization: The University of Texas at Austin Jed is ranting on and on about how sex is bad, people who have sex are bad, sinners etc. He is screaming about how god is watching everyone, looking down on sinners, down on people who have sex, etc He says that god is checking everybody out. There is a huge circle of people around him, mostly chuckling at his inane comments. No sooner had he finished the 'god is checking everyone out' comment than a woman steps out of the crowd, rips the snaps on her blouse open, and bares her large breasts. She says, "Check these out, Brother Jed!" He was caught off guard, and paused for a split second. Just a split second. But it was enough. Everyone laughed over him as he screamed "Sinner!, Sinner!". The woman laughed and walked away. It happened at Michigan State, sometime before 1987. ----- >From: (metlay) Date: 19 Dec 90 16:04:38 GMT Organization: Atomic City Records, Pittsburgh, PA Oh, MAN , does this bring back memories. I was at Oberlin College in the early 1980s, at a time when sexual freedom was at its pre-AIDS height and Oberlin was renowned for being at the forefront of the sexual revolution (first coed classes, first woman bachelor's degree, first black woman's bachelor's, first coed dorms without chaperoning, etc) and had been for over a century: and Jed told us that of all the campuses he visited (outside of Florida, of course), Oberlin was the one that needed his "help" most. And no, Jed is NOT a fool. I tried a few theological questions on him, and he was slicker than a used condom. Eventually, over the three visits to Oberlin that I saw, I learned not even to try reasoning with him; none of it sank in anyway. So I eventually began quoting various books to him; the Necronomicon went over okay, but the chapter on Jesus from the Koran set him back on his ass. A friend of mine put on a T-shirt that said "God" on it, climbed a tree near where he was preaching, and (being a body builder) effortlessly hung himself from it in an attitude of crucifixion. Jed's comment was, "Oh, that's VERY funny!" But "Holy Hubert" Lindsey was not funny, he was frightening. He still had his sight back then, and I hadn't known that he'd gone blind. It's my belief that his own hatred burned out his eyes. He said that true Christians would thank the Nazis as they were being put into the ovens, and that Hitler was a better person than the Jews he burned. He lowered women to the status of chattel slavery, slandered Muslims and agnostics, and went a long way toward building my current utterly unreasoning distaste for fundamentalist Christianity. The very volume of hate that poured out of him was terrifying-- it almost literally stank, like rotten meat falling off bones and riddled with maggots. ----- >From: (Kevin Thompson) Date: 19 Dec 90 06:16:10 GMT Organization: NASA-Ames Research Center, Moffett Field, CA Two totally ridiculous, pretty fuzzy memories of Jed, from circa 1984 at University of VA: -- he was baiting us all about our rampant materialism. Someone pointed out that Jed had driven onto campus in some sort of fancy car -- Caddy comes to mind, but not sure, but Jed didn't deny it one way or another. So harrasser accused Jed of hyprocisy, and he replied: "I don't *have* to live by everyone else's rules. I am superhuman!". He looked like he meant it :). -- "Oral sex is like eating pizza through your nose" ----- >From: (Joseph N. Wilson) Date: 19 Dec 90 16:53:36 GMT Organization: University of Florida CIS dept. FSU Union Fall 1975 or 76. Jed preached on the steps of the Moore auditorium. A great stage for him: four to five feet above a guaranteed crowd at every class change. Right in front of the Cafeteria, so you could feed and listen at the same time. Jed stayed for several weeks in late fall. I was surprised to see him later at UVa in the 80s. Jed was a yearly fixture, just like Ron of "Ron Art," they guy who could paint a landscape in one minute flat. His paintings always had three white birds in them. I asked this guy (who looked like a Rasta) what the birds were for. His reply: "The Holy trinity, mon." ----- >From: (Lance "Taylorism" Smith) Date: 20 Dec 90 00:54:39 GMT Organization: University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, CSci dept. The Destroyers (does anyone else remember them going by this name?) were at U of MN as early as 1978, probably earlier. It was one of those things returning students would tell to their high school pals. Sorta like, "College life is sure weird! Just wait." My favorite Jedism was something like: "I say you're a sissy and she's a tomboy!" The other memorable Jed eevent was when Pete Wagner organized the "God Squad". A bunch of students dressed in military uniforms and carrying hockey sticks showed up and took up positions around Jed. When anyone started to heckle members of the group would aim their hockey stick at the heckler. On their right shoulders were insignia that said "God Squad." ----- >From: (James R. Johnson) Date: 19 Dec 90 22:54:47 GMT Organization: The Ohio State University (IRCC) A good follow up to this is the story I saw unfold during my ohio-state academic career #1 (1980-84)...A pretty, young girl was walking across the oval and Jed was on one of his tirades about evil college students and not accepting Jesus...he lashed out at her: "You there, you haven't accepted JEEEEZZUSSS...You are going to burn in hell!!!"...her response: "No I havent accepted Jesus...I'm Jewish!!!" and before he could take off on a tirade on that she turned on her heel and continued on her way. Jed kinda lost his momentum and returned to the scriptures and discontinued editorializing for the day. ----- >From: (Gary Bastin 60293) Date: 19 Dec 90 21:09:15 GMT Organization: Harris Corporation GSS, Melbourne, Florida I remember seeing Jed Smock at the University of Kentucky in the mid to late 70's. I graduated from UK in December 77, so he was active at least a year or two before that for sure. He always drew a crowd in the old Free Speech area on the hill above the student center around lunch time. He tried moving to the plaza outside the Patterson Office Tower, but wound up back in the Free Speech area. ----- >From: (Kathleen Hunt) Date: 19 Dec 90 04:40:21 GMT I remember Jed & Cindy quite fondly because they were always so entertaining when they came to Oberlin College. Oberlin is a very liberal place (or was a few years ago, anyway), and virtually nobody took them seriously. Instead, everyone seemed to view B.J. & S.C. as a sort of vaudeville act. We'd all chant along with him when he said "LAAAAKES...OOOF...FI-YER!!!!" B.J. always seemed pretty disappointed in us, because Oberlin was actually founded as a missionary college, way back when.... We usually found it pretty easy to throw Brother Jed off-stride, usually by having two lesbians leap on each other and start making out, right there in the front row. ----- >From: (Stephen K Crume) Date: 19 Dec 90 23:10:30 GMT Organization: The Ohio State University I have the somewhat dubious honor of residing merely two doors down from the College Community Church--Pastor: Jed Smock. Unfortunately, we hear nary a peep out of them; our landlord theorized that Jed and Cindy may be wary of raising h-e-l-l so close to their home turf. Bible studies are 7pm Wed, services 11am Sunday( in case anyone wants to make a roadtrip ;-) Here's an address: College Community Church George Jed Smock 2346 Summit Street Columbus, Oh 43202 (614)263-3626 ----- >From: (Carl Turner) Date: 19 Dec 90 20:02:14 GMT Organization: University of Florida Psychology Department On the question of who funds Jed: Jed's been to South Africa three times, according to my sources. He has in the past received money from the South African government. Someone should try to pin him down on that. Jed-lore: One of the few instances of someone really shutting Jed down occurred two years ago. He was giving his canned South-Africa-is-a- paradise-for-blacks spiel. Finally, a big guy, about 6'3", 200 lbs, white, full beard, stepped out of the crowd and pointed his finger at Jed. "Everything you've said is a god-damned lie!" he said, in an unmistakable South African accent. "I'm from Cape Town, and you are a god-damned liar!" Then he turned around and walked off. Jed was quiet for a minute, then starting preaching the bible. ----- >From: (William R. Herndon) Date: 19 Dec 90 03:29:57 GMT Organization: Secure Computing Technology Corporation Well, when I was at University of Texas, Jed and Cindy used to show up every year, like clockwork, the week before spring break. In the three years that I heard him speak, I never heard him say that Cindy had been "saved" in Austin. On the other hand, Cindy's stock story about her seeing the light, was always one of the most entertaining bits that they did, mostly because the crowd could recite the story with her. You know the one. It starts out: I want you all to know that I was a sinnah!! I was godless!! I was a... ( and the crown shouts with her ) - TEEEEEENAAAAGE DISCO QUEEEEEEN!!!!! ----- >From: (Brian Aslakson) Date: 23 Dec 90 10:50:37 GMT Organization: University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, CSci dept. >From the intro by Sister Cindy Smock: ...I quickly fell for the lies of my University of Florida teachers. We have been married since July 30, 1983 and I have never seen him commit one sin. His late father was head of the English Department at Indiana State University. That is where Jed earned a B.S. in Social Studies, a M.S. in U.S. History and did postgraduate work in counseling and psychology. He taught for five years at the junior high, high school and college levels. He often speaks for several hours each afternoon on campus and then holds nightly meetings in a local church. ----- >From: hawley@adobe.COM (Steve Hawley) Date: 20 Dec 90 22:08:03 GMT Organization: Adobe Systems Incorporated, Mountain View Brother Jed shows up at least once a year at Oberlin College (at least while I was there). Several times he has been invited to speak to the LGBU (Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Union) and consequently act as the epitome of homophobia and intolerance. Seems he shows up for these talks wearing a dust mask... My most vivid memory is that of a contingent from Harkness (a vegetarian CO-OP) who came out and writhed naked in a circle around Sister Cindy. ----- >From: carter@boulder.Colorado.EDU (Mike Carter) Date: 21 Dec 90 15:50:03 GMT Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder Jed and Cindy often visit CU Boulder, and in the Spring of '82 a coed that I knew caught him off guard as well. This isn't a FOAF, I was there, and the Colorado Daily had a picture as well. Jed was into a heated frenzy about all the women in the audience being whores, etc. When this coed drops her drawers and panties, turns around and the caption of the photo in the paper was "MOON OVER BROTHER JED". Jed was absolutely speechless for as long I have seen him, 30 seconds or so. The crowd was also fairly taken back and he never did get frenzied again that day. ----- >From: (Al Landeck) Date: 24 Dec 90 16:37:33 GMT Organization: Department of Mathematics, The Ohio State University I have seen Jed probably 6 or 7 times, here are a couple remeberances: 1) A crowd of Frat boys, in response to Sister Cindy saying (in a way that we can all remember), "HOMOOO-SEX-UALITEEEE", started doing the Hookie-Pookie, "You put your Fist in, you pull your fist out..." 2) Brother Max, or Mad Max as we called him, getting kissed by a member of the Gay Alliance and told he was loved. I'm surprised Max survived the apoplectic fit he went into. 3) Someone standing up and quoting to Cindy the passage from the bible that talks about not suffering a woman to preach, or some such thing, and watching Jed get all flustered in coming to her defence. 4) Hearing Jed and Cindy on a local radio talk show when they were pushing his book. I couldn't believe that he actually advocates as punishment for disobediant children - STONING, we aren't talking drugs here folks. How biblical... Did anyone see him and Cindy when they were on the Donahue show? ----- >From: (Carl Turner) Date: 22 Dec 90 19:20:03 GMT Organization: University of Florida Psychology Department Max Lynch claims a B.S. in physics, among other things. He uses the fact in order to establish his credentials as a scientist as he tries to "debunk" evolution. Naturally, he provides "logical" proof for the correctness of creationism. It's Max at his worst. The "firing" story is really pretty good, and the story that follows: how he tried to take the case of his firing to the Supreme Court. I'll get the details the next time he's in town, which is usually in the second or third week of January. Max claims the ability to call upon god to "silence god's enemies." I have seen this: Max will approach a persistent heckler and warn the evildoer to shut up or suffer the consequences. Naturally, this encourages the heckler to greater heights. Max will point his finger at the person, scream for divine intercession, and begin to "speak in tongues." I've seen him go through this about three times, without successfully silencing anyone. ============================================================ All of this stuff about Brother Jed reminded me of an entry in a book called "High Weirdness By Mail" by Ivan Stang (of Church of the Subgenius fame), a book containing addresses of all sorts of bizarre organizations. I checked it and sure enough, Brother Jed is in it! The entry reads: Jed (his real name is George) and his wife, Cindy, travel around the country bringing their message of fundamentalist religion to heathen college students everywhere. Be sure and catch his act when they're in town. In case you miss them, write for free (!) copies of their leaflets "The Jed Smock Story-From Professor to Preacher","The Sister Cindy Story-From Disco Queen to Gospel Preacher", and their new ones, "South Africa-The Shocking Facts", and "Mission to South Africa". Jed's address (or I guess, maildrop) is: Campus Ministry Jed Smock 173 Woodland Avenue Lexington, KY 40502 I have no idea if this is a current address, but it's worth a try. I've written stuff out to organizations like this, and I've found that the most effective way to get *lots* of free stuff is to pretend to be a true believer who is trying to convert the unwashed masses. Trust me, it's worked for me before. I should add that there exists a group even more obnoxious and stupid than Brother Jed's: The Battle Cry of Aggressive Christianity. Their address is: P.O. Box 992 Klimath Falls, OR 97601 Well worth the postage. Get them to waste time and money on you. Their stuff is *great*!


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