Holy War For Cash Fredric Rice 'What are we going to do, brother Igno? Our membership
Holy War For Cash
"What are we going to do, brother Igno? Our membership is already
down 23 percent and so our revenus are also down. The recession has
hit us rather hard further adding to our decrease in income. If we
release this information, they'll all _know_ we've been lying to them.
"Take it easy, brother Rant, take it easy! We'll figure _something_
"But what are we to do about our failing membership!?"
"We've got to inject more fear into peoples lives! We've got to lie
to them like we've never lied to them before. We're going to have to
start demanding more money from them, saying we need it to fight
abortion, Satan, and everything else we can think of all the way to
fighting bad breath, if we can. Don't worry, Brother Rant, we'll
survive. We always have so long as there are the mindless robotic
ignorant willing to serve us and give us their hard-earned pay. We
need to subvert their reasoning abilities, subvert their governments.
Teach them how to stop thinking and obey what we say."
****** Then, at the gathering of religious in Turkey this last month,
to discuss the "religious problems in new Eastern nations. *******
"OK. Pipe down, everyone. Let's get started." "OK. First on the
agenda is how to divide the profits from the newly opened up Russian
nations. Anyone got any ideas on how we can do this fairly and
profitable for all? We got all of Germany to divide up too now, don't
Mormon steps up: "We want it _ALL_!"
"We get our share!" "Moronic bastards!" "Give me that! That's Mine!"
"Put down the gun!" "I'll kill you infidels!" "We're the True
Brother Igno and Rant step up to the microphone. "OK, brothers, we've
all agreed to throw the Mormon gang out and decided not to give them
any of the cut for Eastern Germany. How say we all?" "The
motion is passed. Brother Hitler, show the Moronic bastards out."
"You can't do this to us! We'll start a holy war!
God is on _our_ side!"
"Can it, asshole, we don't believe in that shit."
E-Mail Fredric L. Rice / The Skeptic Tank