Subject: This is one REAL odd dude... In answer to the question: 'What is God like', the f

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From: jwm@STDA.JHUAPL.EDU (Jim Meritt) Subject: This is one REAL odd dude... In answer to the question: "What is God like", the follwing extracts from God's true word are provided: ========================================================================== Why he cursed, and use to slap animals down! Genesis: 8:21 And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done. ........................................................................... Had a bit of a speach problem... Isaiah: 5:26 And he will lift up an ensign to the nations from far, and will hiss unto them from the end of the earth: and, behold, they shall come with speed swiftly. ........................................................................... Vomits a little now and then... Revelations: 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. ........................................................................... Changes his mind now and then...(a little indecisive) Exodus: 32:14 And the LORD repented of the evil which he thought to do unto his people. ........................................................................... moons folks (just a good ol' boy!) (even is a little shy in the process...) Exodus: 33:23 And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen. ........................................................................... Talks to the devil like a GOOD satanist... Job : 1:7 And the LORD said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it. ........................................................................... charges angels with folly. But we know how hard good help is to come by... Job : 4:18 Behold, he put no trust in his servants; and his angels he charged with folly. ........................................................................... causes adultery (love thy neighbor stuff...) 2 Samuel: 12:11 Thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun. ........................................................................... causes suicide: Jeremiah: 19:7 And I will make void the counsel of Judah and Jerusalem in this place; and I will cause them to fall by the sword before their enemies, and by the hands of them that seek their lives: and their carcases will I give to be meat for the fowls of the heaven, and for the beasts of the earth. ........................................................................... causes "indecency" (if he can moon, they can streak, right?) Isaiah 20:3 And the LORD said, Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked and barefoot three years for a sign and wonder upon Egypt and upon Ethiopia; 20:4 So shall the king of Assyria lead away the Egyptians prisoners, and the Ethiopians captives, young and old, naked and barefoot, even with their buttocks uncovered, to the shame of Egypt. ........................................................................... tells people to lie 1 Samuel: 16:2 And Samuel said, How can I go? if Saul hear it, he will kill me. And the LORD said, Take an heifer with thee, and say, I am come to sacrifice to the LORD. ........................................................................... loves to oppress (but he is a good Capitolist!) Hosea: 12:7 He is a merchant, the balances of deceit are in his hand: he loveth to oppress. ........................................................................... rewards transgressors and fools Proverbs: 26:10 The great God that formed all things both rewardeth the fool, and rewardeth transgressors. ........................................................................... orders men to drink, be drunk, and vomit Jeremiah: 25:27 Therefore thou shalt say unto them, Thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel; Drink ye, and be drunken, and spue, and fall, and rise no more, because of the sword which I will send among you. 25:28 And it shall be, if they refuse to take the cup at thine hand to drink, then shalt thou say unto them, Thus saith the LORD of hosts; Ye shall certainly drink. ........................................................................... spreads shit on peoples faces: Malachi: 2:3 Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it. ........................................................................... Has really bad table manners... Hosea: 13:8 I will meet them as a bear that is bereaved of her whelps, and will rend the caul of their heart, and there will I devour them like a lion: the wild beast shall tear them. ........................................................................... deceives his own prophets Jeremiah: 20:7 O LORD, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived; thou art stronger than I, and hast prevailed: I am in derision daily, every one mocketh me. ........................................................................... sought to kill his own emissary Exedous: 4:24 And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the LORD met him, and sought to kill him. ........................................................................... sanctions slavery Exodus: 21:2 If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. 21:3 If he came in by himself, he shall go out by himself: if he were married, then his wife shall go out with him. 21:4 If his master have given him a wife, and she have born him sons or daughters; the wife and her children shall be her master's, and he shall go out by himself. 21:5 And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free: 21:6 Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also bring him to the door, or unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear through with an aul; and he shall serve him for ever. ........................................................................... orders slave-capturing expeditions (kill the men, keep the booty!) Deuteronomy: 20:12 And if it will make no peace with thee, but will make war against thee, then thou shalt besiege it: 20:13 And when the LORD thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword: 20:14 But the women, and the little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in the city, even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself; and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the LORD thy God hath given thee. ........................................................................... orders the slaughter of men, women, and children (a right bloodthirsty guy) 1 Samuel: 15:3 Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass. ........................................................................... After killing off the men, keep the virgins around for "a good time" Numbers: 31:17 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. 31:18 But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves. ........................................................................... Like, he can't even trust the truth, so he send delusions to damn people 2 Thessalonians: 2:11 And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: 2:12 That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness. ========================================================================== This is one odd dude...

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