From: Carl Wilson
To: Tim Tyler
Subject: Re: Bible
-=> Quoting Tim Tyler to Carl Wilson <=-
CW> Is there some law of nature that states that fundies are always
CW> ignorant, or does it just seem to always work out that way?
TT> I think it's a universal constant. The rate of propogation
TT> of a fundies ignorance is equal to the velocity of light in
TT> a vacuum. And Einstein thought we couldn't do it!
But does a fundy's ignorance have any mass? If it does, just think of
the possibilities for space travel! If we could direct it out of the
rear of a spacecraft, we could achieve at least a large percentage of
the speed of light over a period of time. And no need to worry about
fuel either, since we all know that a fundy's ignorance is boundless!
In the 25th century....
"Mr Crusher, increase velocity to Fundy Factor 9."
"But sir, the Fundies are too tired for that much speed."
Cpt Picard thinks for a moment, then replies:
"Tell them that science just discovered that the world isn't flat, and
that humans and apes evolved from a common ancestor. That _always_
gets them going. Just be sure the sudden surge of ignorance doesn't
tear apart the engines! Remember that time Mr LaForge told them that
they really weren't aboard "Noah's Ark II", and that they were really on
a Starship? The sudden chorus of "IS NOT"s and the resulting surge of
ignorance nearly shattered our defundium crystals!"
"And tell those Vulcans _NOT_ to mind-meld with any more Fundies!
We've got three Vulcans walking around here all glassy-eyed and
"speaking in tongues". I'll have no more of it!"
... Star Trek VII: The Wrath of Steve Winter. Possessing a theater near you.