I have received a number of queries about my mention that the last page
of the Bible - which states that it was all a joke - is routinely torn
out at the bible factory. Here is a copy of the full text, which I happen
to possess, having done some janitorial work at a local bible complex.
TO: Whom it May Concern
The preceding was, of course, all a joke. No sane or rational person
is expected to live by the incoherent principles embodied herein. Do not
try them at home (or anywhere else, for that matter). They are expressly
for the use of professional Masochists and Fools. The only advice I can
give is -- Eat, Drink, and Be Merry, For Tomorrow You Shall Die.
Oh, and stop whining. I have no control over these things. This
silly Omnipotence business was started by Priests seeking to empty
Your pockets by promising My favors.
You don't think I Planned on reality being this screwed up, did you?
Things just got out of hand. I mean, Dogs weren't supposed to shit in
the house; everyone was supposed to get laid at least twice a week
after Puberty; and I Never, Ever planned on Republicans.
Well, I've got to go now. Be back in about four billion years.
Try to straighten thing out by then, will you? We'll have a good
sit-down and you can tell me all about it. I'll bring the Beer.
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The One and Only