%% Evolutionary theory, that Devil's work, is FALSE FALSE FALSE. IS NOT, DAMMIT! PROOF!

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Evolutionary theory, that Devil's work, is FALSE FALSE FALSE.  IS NOT,
DAMMIT!  PROOF!  ->  I am not a monkey and never was!  <-  PROOF!
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There is recorded evidence that Darwin, the Devil's Playmate, took drugs
while staying on those Galopogy islands, and engaged in sex with all those
species he was supposed to be studying.  PROOF THAT EVOLUTION IS FALSE
AND INSPIRED BY THE DEVIL, SATAN LORD OF FLIES!
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EVOLUTION is EVIL.  It robs us of our GOD.  It robs us of our place in
HEAVEN.  GOD will DAMN all EVOLUTION believers to the FIERY LAKE OF HELL.
GOD created the universe in SIX, COUNT 'EM, SIX, DAYS, not millions and
billions of years.  It wasn't RANDOM CHANCE, it was GOD MASTER OF
CREATION EXACTLY AS TOLD IN THE BIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!