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--=== THE CHURCH OF ELVIS ===-- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV,,. "/XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX", ,"XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXX", ,"XXXX// /X/ //////XXXXXXXXXXX", ,"XXXXXXX XXXX XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX"", XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX", XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX", /XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV, /"XXXXXXXXXXX X X XXXXX XX XX XXXXXXXXXXXXXV, /"XXX X X X XXX X X XXX X XX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV, /"XXX X X X XXX X XX X XX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV, /"XXX XX XX XXXX XXXX XX XX XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV, /,XXXX XX X XX X X X XXX XX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV, //XXX XXX X XXXX XX X XX X XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV, //XXX XXX X XXXXX XX XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV, /XX XXX X XXXXXX XX XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV /XX XXXXX XXX X XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV /XX XXXXX XXX XXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXV, //XX XXXXX XX XX XXXXXXXXXXXXXV, //XX XXXX XX X XXXXXXXXXXXXV, //X XXX X XXXXXXXXXXXXXV /X XX XXXXXXXXXXXXV /X ,,,,,XXXXXXX,, XXXXXXXXXXXV /XXXXXXXXXX, "XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXV /X" "" "" XXXXX XXV H ,""""""""",, ,"""""""""",, XXXX XXX " "" """ / "" "" XXXX / XX " " // XXX // XX " // XXX / XX " // /XXX / XX " // /XXX XX " /// /XXX / XXX " /// ,, /XXXXXXXXX " // / /XXXXXXXXXX " """ "" /XXXXXXXXX/ " ", ,,,, ,,,, , " ""IIII IIIIIIII"", // / / " " """""""""""" " // / " " , ," // / // " " "IIIWWIII" // // / / / ", " """" /// / / / / / ", // " //// // / / // " // " //// / / // / "", // / ", "// / / / // " // / ", ////// / // // " // / ", // // // // """ // / "" " " ""/// / // " " // // "" "" "/ / / // " // ", ","", "," / // // "" ELVIS thinks you're NEAT! Preface and Preamble: "If there is any fixed star in our constitutional constellation, it is that NO official, high or petty, can prescribe what shall be orthodox in politics, nationalism, religion or other matters of opinion or force citizens to confess by word or act their faith therein. If there ARE any circumstances which permit an exception, they do not now occur to us." Ref: U.S.Supreme Court (1943) West Virginia State Board of Education v. Barnette, 319 US 624. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%% %%% %%% U N I V E R S A L L I F E C H U R C H %%% %%% International Headquarters * Modesto California %%% %%% %%% %%% %%% %%% It is hereby declared that ELVIS ARON PRESLEY %%% %%% %%% %%% has been named S A I N T of the %%% %%% %%% %%% Universal Life Church this day of November 8, 1988 %%% %%% %%% %%% %%% %%% U L C %%% %%% S E A L Signed: Kirby J. Hensley, D.D. %%% %%% I H Q President %%% %%% %%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Upon duly submitted and approved petition to the International Headquarters of the Universal Life Church, Inc., Elvis Aron Presley was named Saint of the Universal Life Church in November, 1988. The petition to the church read as follows: Elvis exhibited faith and hope when, as a youngster, he pursued his talent as an entertainer despite the odds against rising from his humble beginnings. He exhibited charity by his obvious and documented generosity. All of these attributes of character are believed to have been present to an extraordinary degree by his followers. ********************************************************* ECCLESIASTICAL PROCLAMATION WHEREAS the beliefs on matters of death and resurrection are especially promulgated during the weekend of the First Sunday after the first full moon after the Vernal Equinox, and WHEREAS these concepts are so closely tied by many in many churches to ancient ceremonies of fertility and symbolized by Bunnies and Eggs and other esoteric symbols of rebirth and new life, and WHEREAS the promise of eternal life was extended to everyone as far back as 1939 (or even earlier, to hear some tell it) and that possibility is recognized by lots of folks, and WHEREAS the Saturday prior to the Sunday mentioned above has heretofore remained generally unclaimed, unnamed, and uncelebrated, now, THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED that the Saturday before the First Sunday after the first full moon after the Vernal Equinox be proclaimed and known as ELVIS SATURDAY from this day forward, and be celebrated by the faithful in joyous recognition of all Spring Festivals associated with rebirth and fertility with the eternal melodies of St. Elvis Aron Presley, who lives forever in the eternal present. Wherefore I have set my mark and caused to be affixed the seal of the Church of Elvis ULC on this 14th day of April, 1990. Signed by the Bishop . Saturday, April 14, 1990 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- THERE's MORE!!! The CHURCH OF ELVIS is a sect of the Universal Life Church and is looking for new ministers. ABOUT MINISTERHOOD -- Is This For Real? Yes, it is. The Universal Life Church will ordain anyone, for life, no questions asked, and at no cost. The ordination is legally valid, and, after registering with local authorities, ULC Ministers can legally perform weddings, funerals, baptisms, etc. -- But I Have To Believe In Something Silly, Right? Nope. The ULC doesn't impose ANY beliefs on it's Ministers or their congregations. Your god is OK. Period. -- Am I Making Any Promises? Only one. A ULC Minister agrees to do what's "right". You get to interpret "right" to your satisfaction. No one will call to ask for money. You're not joining a "cult." You're welcome (encouraged!) to continue practicing whatever faith you like. ULC Ministers are also Catholics, Episcopalians, Methodists, ELVIS Worshippers... you name it. -- So How Do I Become Ordained? Easy. Just fill out the simple form below, or call any CompuChurch (tm) Chartered BBS and go to the Online Ordainments Menu. Your info will be processed by CompuChurch (tm) International Headquarters. CompuChurch will file your request with the ULC, and you'll receive your credentials within a coupla weeks. It's free, but we could use a stamp! -- Still A Little Wary? There's more information on the ULC at any CompuChurch (tm) Chartered BBS, from The Church of Elvis or from CompuChurch (tm) International Headquarters, 1:3800/6 or call direct at (504) 927-4509. BBSes are filled with ULC Ministers from all walks of life. Join us! -------------------------------------------------------------------- * MAKE ME A MINISTER! Yes, this all sounds wonderful. I want to be a minister, fully ordained and authorized to do anything ministers usually do, and entitled to the privileges and benefits extended to the clergy. Name: ------------------------------------------------ Address: ------------------------------------------------ City State Zip: ------------------------------------------------ I am enclosing a self-addressed stamped envelope to make life easier for you! SEND TO: Church of Elvis Diocese of Baton Rouge Universal Life Church P.O.Box 64575 Baton Rouge, LA 70896 ------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Certified True Copy of the original certificate of Sainthood issued under the seal of the Church of Elvis ULC, and signed by the Pastor and the Prophet of Elvis is available, along with a copy of the Proclamation of Elvis Saturday, if requested, for a $5 donation payable to Universal Life Church sent to the address above. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- * SPECIAL TITLES Special Titles are offered for a minimum donation of $5.00. Below is a list of special titles currently being offered: Bishop Magus Monsignor Healing Minister Missionary Pastor General Cardinal Elder Lama Apostle of Humility Right Reverend Guru Deacon Flying Missionary Archpriest Preceptor Colonel Missionary Doctor Sister Soul Therapist Archbishop Evangelist Friar Metropolitan Abbot Thanatologist Reverend Mother Free Thinker Arch Deacon Hadji Brahman High Priest Rabbi Abbess Parochial Educator Scribe Monk Priest Religious Preacher Cure Universal Rabbi Most Reverend Preacher Swami Angel Ascetic Gnostic Dervish Universal Rabbi Brother Mother Superior Father Chaplain Anada Abbe Lay Sister Archcardinal Rector Orthodox Monk Druid Starets Reverend Father Missionary of Music The Very Esteemed Prophet High Priestess Minister of Music Iman Shaman Righteous Brother Messenger Mystical Philosopher Universal Religious Philosopher Universal Philosopher of Absolute Reality If you do not see the title you want, write us. New titles are approved every day! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Special Title of Sainthood Do you know a "Saint" personally? Do you know someone who has exercised the three theological virtues - faith, hope, and charity - to an extraordinary degree? If so you may bestow "Sainthood" within the ULC upon this beloved person. Merely write with your reasons for bestowing Sainthood upon the individual and include a donation of $5.00. The handsome certificate of Sainthood will be sent directly to you, or you may have the degree sent to the recipient. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Distributed by The Church of Elvis and CompuChurch (tm) International Headquarters 504-927-4509 FidoNet 1:3800/6 For Information, send S.A.S.E to: The Church of Elvis P.O.Box 64575 Baton Rouge, LA 70896-4575 --=== THE CHURCH OF ELVIS ===--


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