During the year after my graduation the Moonies were having a big recruitment drive in Cam

Master Index Current Directory Index Go to SkepticTank Go to Human Rights activist Keith Henson Go to Scientology cult

Skeptic Tank!

During the year after my graduation the Moonies were having a big recruitment drive in Cambridge, under the name of the "Collegiate Association for the Research of Principles", or "CARP". Saint Richard and I quickly put together the following poster by taking the Moonie text and running it through our brains on "blend and chop": - - - clip'n'save your soul - - - [ Artwork deleted -- it was a modified CARP logo, with the man in the circle now mysteriously smoking a pipe... ] CAMBRIDGE C.R.A.P. FORUM What is C.R.A.P.? C.R.A.P. (Collegiate Research into Attitude Perversion) is a student disorganization active in over eighty nations -- including fifty-eight which haven't been discovered yet! Founded in 1955 by the Reverend Doktor Saint Sun Lo Shan, C.R.A.P. seeks to research into principles and values in order to discover and promote new and exciting ways of perverting them. C.R.A.P. challenges the rise of con-inspired materialistic thinking and explores the difficulties inherent in obtaining total slack. Lecture Programmes Dokstoks, Devivals and mass Slack-a-thons are held irregularly throughout terms and vacations. Topics range from the existence of "Bob" to environ-demental issues, as well as sinshops covering every aspect of the SubGenius Principles upon which C.R.A.P. is based. Martial Arts C.R.A.P. runs its own unique martial art form, Whodya-no. Discovered by Master Whun Bohl Hi, it focuses on the invisible Nental Ife, the secret force field which gives the true yetisyn SubGenius his amazing powers, as well as keeping his slacks creased. Third World War Projects In 1986 the Jury of Orthomoralistic Knowledge Epopts (J.O.K.E.) was formed to smash the CON-inspired governments of America and Britain. Also, European C.R.A.P. organises "fropsex" (satyriology), a cross- brain short-out where the sacred Tibetan herb Habafropzipulops combines with physical stimuli, swapping adjacent neurons at random and causing catalytic brain-cell loss in seconds -- right where it's most needed! Sports All C.R.A.P. centres encourage regular, informal horizontal sporting activities. Lectures Wednesday: 6:00pm Lecture :- "Principles of Yetisyny: Are You a True Mutant?" + ranting Thursday: 6:00pm Lecture :- "A Definition of 'Slack' in an Age of Pinkness" + brainwashing Sunday: 11:00am Morning Service :- Sermon: "The Word of Dobbs -- Entering the Realm of JHVH-1's Stark Fist of Removal". Bring frop. Pull the Wool Over Your Own Eyes! - - - clip'n'save your soul - - - I posted our poster everywhere I found a Moonie poster. I don't know how successful the Moonies were, but I had people asking me if I'd seen the poster and offering me photocopies of it if I hadn't. So the moral of the story is that if your poster is witty and amusing enough, it will distribute itself. mathew -- Official Meta-Pope of the SubGenius Church of the Radioactive Jesus (formerly Hamburgers for WOTAN, Inc.)


E-Mail Fredric L. Rice / The Skeptic Tank