(20717) Thu 7 Jan 93 8:04p By: Rupa Schomaker To: All Re: IRS, childrens stories, etc. St:
(20717) Thu 7 Jan 93 8:04p
By: Rupa Schomaker
Re: IRS, childrens stories, etc.
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| Area : U_FUNNY (rec.humor.funny)
| From : JVOGEL, 1:106/88 (05 Jan 93 09:30)
| Subj : IRS, childrens stories, etc.
This is a story my 13 year old wrote as an assignment.
He was to re-write a common children's story. He asked my wife and me
for what would be most terrifying to middle aged types. Consider this
a collaboration with him as chief author.
The Three Middle-aged Pigs
It was a dark and stormy night, the three little pigs had
just turned thirty four so I guess you could call them the three
middle-aged pigs. It was then their father said"GET OUT OF
HERE!!! YOU'RE EATING ME OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME." (Which is what
pigs do, but the father was tired of it any way.) So the three
middle-aged pigs set out to make their fortunes.
The first middle-aged pig made a house of straw but
unfortunately the big bad I.R.S. agent, B.B. Wolfe, formerly of
Billem and Run came to his door. "It seems that you have some
undeclared income from your garbage collecting," said agent
"But I was fired from that job two weeks ago for eating
on the job?" replied the first middle-aged pig.
"Yes, but the crime has already been done. I'll have to
confiscate your house and every thing in it," declared Wolfe.
The second middle-aged pig was also visited by agent
Wolfe. "You have been claiming excessive dependents. We find
thirty dependents hard to believe. Can you produce them?"
challenged agent Wolfe.
"Yes I can," he said as he opened the freezer, proudly
displaying the thirty packages of bacon. "They're easier to keep
this way and freezing is cheaper than college."
"I'm sorry, I'll have to confiscate your house and the
evidence," Wolfe said as he licked his lips.
Later that same day the third middle-aged pig received a
visit from agent Wolfe. "It seems that you have some undeclared
gambling winnings," agent Wolfe said as he looked through the gap
in the door.
"So what," said the Reverend Pig, "Do you want the bingo
card or not?"
So agent Wolfe huffed and he puffed but he couldn't blow
down the separation of church and state.
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