Top Ten Reasons Why DSZ Isn't Working Properly
12) Line Status Register 02 error caused by schlock software
11) Environment too big for DSZ.COM (use DSZ.EXE)
10) THE GUY AT SEARS PROMISED IT WOULD WORK FINE.
9) Luser failed to follow Tutorial instructions in DSZ.DOC
8) DSZ not in search path
7) Modem losing characters because of improper Flow Control setup
6) Carrier Detect Signal missing
5) Batch file borrowed from a friend with a different configuration
4) THOSE DAMN RACCOONS!
3) COM3/COM4 not configured properly
2) Hacked/Pirated version of DSZ has released a virus
1) RACE OF SUPER-EVOLVED GALACTIC BEINGS ARE SCREWING WITH US.
0) FAX driver or LAN manager is messing with DSZ's serial port
* Inspired by Dave Letterman's Top Ten List about the Hubble Space Telescope.